Pants 0. Shit 1.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
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Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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