Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
