Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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