I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
