Whod you bang
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
