Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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