Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Text me some of your sweat
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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