You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
