You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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