It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
