Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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