Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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