Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
