i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
