I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
