I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
