Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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