I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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