Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
false alarm. still invincible.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
