i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
