Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
