Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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