At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
