tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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