I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Farmville is her only friend.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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