we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
