i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
