Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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