Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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