I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
