he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
