Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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