I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
