Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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