so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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