so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
