i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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