we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
NoShamevember. You game?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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