Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
