I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
