Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
