out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
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you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
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