dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
