i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
