if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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