walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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