just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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