I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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