Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
