Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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