he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
