Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize