batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize