He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You ruined the universe
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
