I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
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I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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