hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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