I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
