If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
