STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
